Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Out of prison and homeless

Hey Prison Widow..how's it going? I read your stuff in Inside Time when I was banged up..
So I get released from jail 3 weeks ago.. homeless and sofa surfing kipping from couch to couch and chair to chair at friends houses...
I was released with the impression I was going back to my missus but she'd had enough so I am skipping around begging a roof..
Where do I go from here? I was recalled to prison so I have finished my stint with probation because I have served the remainder of my bird (time). I saw some advert on telly a few days ago saying its only 127 days to Xmas.. winter is nearing and I refuse to curl up on a park bench with a sleeping bag.. I have been there and worn the t-shirt.. so unless the local council give me a helping hand to find me a bedsit or flat.. I will go back to jail. No Prison Widow it is not ideal or clever... but prison is a roof, a place to sleep and I get fed.. A shop lifting spree will land me back inside no problem... I've never physically hurt anyone and never will but my options are not good... people sit in their pads (cells) and think.. or should I say dream about getting out and getting a job.. settling down and fuc8ing this prison lark off because prison life is no life but it's a roof...
I live in an area where unemployment is rife and benefits are the way of life.. Skilled people are scraping by on benefits because redundancies are a thing of the future.. people I know have topped themselves because they cannot get jobs and support their families and kids... Jeremy Kyle blarts out ''get off your arse and find a job''' but I can't apply for jobs that aint there and if one does crop up.. I'm joining a bloody queue and ex-cons aint welcomed in the workforce where I live... all this sounds like poor old me me me... I'm not sat here typing with a noose around my neck.. I'm just saying it has it is as an ex offender and how pipe dreams in prison stay pipe dreams... 
I could move to another area but I don't have money to move to another area... I don't have any confidence either because prison isn't the real world.. there's no confidence building stuff going on in those places... its all wheeling and dealing and survival and depressing... but its a roof and better than dossing in a park with a bottle of cider... 
I am not the brightest bulb but prison is a means to an end... God loves a trier and I am trying... OK fighting to get on my feet and still waiting for my benefits to get sorted 3 weeks down the line... friends are feeding me... and if they stop feeding me... ??? 
I was walking in my town the other day and I saw an old geezer..he must have been at least 70... sat on a corner with a shoe box and a shopping trolley that is home to his sleeping bag begging for coins off people... it was raining hard and that poor geezer will be dead in winter because he will not survive the weather sleeping rough..... WTF???? A pensioner begging for money sat in the rain.... In 2016.... I will keep you updated Prison Widow on my quest to rehabilitate myself... Laters... Craig