If I may, I would like to comment on Sean's (ex offender) post.
I had always been under the impression that maintaining ties with prisoners was a positive step forward, but I now have my doubts. My husband has been to prison five times and we have been together nearly eleven years. He also has a substance misuse problem and his drug of choice is heroin. He began by smoking it and moved on to injecting it. He requires it every day just to feel normal. He works full time and funds his own addiction. I maintain the house with my wages and the situation is not good.
We don't have a normal healthy relationship because how can anyone have a normal healthy relationship when one is addicted to an illegal substance.
I love my husband but he and heroin is not enough. I am forever anxious and cannot cope being around him anymore.
We argue about how much he spends on heroin, which is all of his wages, and we row about his lack of contribution to the household. He then blames his drug usage on me saying I am getting on his case all the time. I am always begging him to detox but he makes excuses.
I feel bitter because I am going out of my way to visit him in prison, and those journey's are costly, only to look in to eyes and see he has been using something. Why should I bother maintaining our bonding when he is using substances in prison? In my view, he is taking the mickey and has no intention of detoxing. Why should I bother? Maintaining family ties with prisoners is all very well and good but where is the prisoners side of the bargain? If a prisoner tests positive for substance misuse then personally for me, they should be banned from seeing their loved ones for x-amount of time. People will argue with me that this breaches a prisoners human rights, but when all said and done, illegal substances should not be available in prisons. If they put in a visit ban, it would be interesting to see how many prisoners value their families and loved ones. We spend hundreds of pounds to visit our loved ones in prison - what sacrifices will the prisoners make to see us? From Anonymous Reader