Dear Prison Widow Blog.
I was with my partner for 10 years and during those 10 years he had been in prison 3 times mainly for offences connected with drug addiction. I supported him the best I could and my best wasn't good enough because every time he chose drugs before his family. I was massively co-dependant and became addicted to him. He was my drug!
I visited him in prison, gave him money, pampered to his needs and got nothing positive back in return.
He was sent to prison again last year and I walked away. I had to for my own sanity and 12 months down the line I feel myself again. I feel more driven, more attractive and certainly more confident. Looking after him and enabling him aged me and I felt grubby and withdrawn. My health was suffering and I was neglecting myself by worrying about him and putting his needs first. He was addicted to heroin and probably still is. I don't know because when I walked away I went no contact and cut off all ties. I still care about him but I have learned to put myself first and most importantly realised that I cannot control someone's life especially one who was an heroin addict. It took me a long time and hours of therapy to understand about addiction. I won't curse him because it is what it is. He is an addict and only he can do something about that. You can change anything if nothing changes.
Living with addiction and the drama that comes with it is exhausting. I sympathise with other family members who have been through it and are still going through it. This brings me to the infamous words, "families can reduce reoffending". I completely disagree with this, especially if a loved one is addicted to drugs and especially heroin. The drug is something else and my future is brighter without it - and wow, I never even used it!