Hi Prison Widow UK. David C's post was a hard one to read but I read it and here's my story.
I am being supported by a great organisation who is helping me deal with my partner's addiction.
He's due to be released from prison soon and I am dreading it. It should be something that I am looking forward to but I'm not. He has had a drug problem for 8 years and I was enabling him. For me, the money was better coming from my pocket than some poor souls house. But in the end he stole from peoples houses regardless which put him in prison.
When I have been visiting him he looks really really well and has put on weight. He told me he's clean and won't go back on the drugs when he comes home. He does look well but sometimes when he phones me his voice didn't sound right and I have my suspicions unless it is me being overly paranoid. Another tell tale sign was that the weeks I was sending him money, his Dad was sending him money too which he didn't need unless he was using it for something illegal ie. drugs.
I have known him for 15 years and we have been together for 8. He was honest about his addiction from the onset and I set out to help him. I knew him when he wasn't a drug addict and he was the nicest guy ever. But I wanted to help and one thing led to another and we entered a relationship. To know him without the drugs and to deal with him on them is so hard because I just want him back to being the person I knew. I am dreading him coming home and things going back to what they used to be. He never hit me or has been violent but we never had any money because I was giving him my last penny to spend on what he needed. Since he's been away I have been lonely and I have missed him. But I haven't missed the stress of the money situation and making sure he was up to no good of an evening.
He's apologised no end in his letters and when I have been visiting him and I believe him but my sixth sense kicks in and I doubt him all over again. I just want him back without the drug addiction. Thanks for listening. Anonymous.