I had a good chat with a lovely lady tonight who was really upset about being stopped by the prison mutt on a visit. In fact, she's heartbroken about it, because in her words, she said she was treated like 'excrement.' I'm being politically correct by using the word 'excrement' and if you notice on the Strangeways documentary, the prison officers use the word ' excrement' too. They usually say, 'shit' but remember, it's all for the TV. Anyway, back on topic, yes, I was chatting to a lady who visited her son and the dog stopped on her. The screw had gloves on during the pat down search. I don't mean fluffy gloves for building snowmen, I mean those see- through gloves that Gynaecologist wear for womb raiding. What the lady told me was, the screw didn't change her gloves, meaning she patted down other visitors before her using the same gloves. You get where I'm coming from here? If the screw had patted down someone who had been smoking a joint before entering the prison and it lingered on their clothing, what's to say that those gloves don't pass on the linger to the next visitors clothing? Because you are knackered if it's skunk for example eh? So, should the screws change their gloves on every pat down? I think they should!
Why should someone who has travelled for 2 hours to see her son be put on closed visits because a screw doesn't change their gloves? This is a lady who can only afford to visit her boy every 8 weeks because of the sheer expense of the travel fare to prison, so why should she suffer because some other prison visitor has sprayed Eau de cologne skunk on their clothes? I think ITV should do a bloody documentary on how prison visitors are treated if you ask me! I think they should put me undercover with a wig on, and see if any of the screws ask me to take my hair off during a search. Can you imagine that? Me stood in the queue and blatantly taking my wig off putting it through the X-ray machine? Watch out HM Prison's, I might do that on my next visit for a laugh! I'll take a bloke with me as well and he can put his toupee through as well!
At least it'd give the visitors a laugh eh? Two rats shuffling through the prison X-ray machine!
I'm going to finish off here. But I just wanted make a point of how bloody ridiculous it is that innocent family members of prisoners are treated on visits sometimes. The lady has given me permission to write this, and she's fine now we've had a chat. Has the saying goes, 'excrement' happens! But she accepts that now and knows that things like this do happen on visits. But that doesn't make it any easier for someone who has travelled a distance to see her son, and ends up on a closed visit. It's not acceptable. Watch this space - I'm buying a wig tomorrow on EBAY!