A Mothers Agony - By Anonymous

Hi.. Not really sure where to start, but i came across your website and wanted to let you know what I am going through and to find out if I am alone with all this worry i have to live with.

My son is 19 years old and has been in prison now since February 2011 he was given a 5 year sentence and has been told his parole date is 18th August 2013.

My life has changed so much with all the worry I have everyday.. some days are worse than others.

when my son was just 18 he was at a party with adults the same age... there was a girl there that was just throwing herself at him.. kissing and cuddling him. my son walked her home that night and they must of got intimate. and that was that. 5 months later he had a visit from the police and was told he was being charged with Rape with a minor.. Apparently this girl was only 14½ at the time and the girls mother had found out and was prosicuting my son. It finally went to court February of this year and lasted a week. All the jury had to decide is whether my son had intercourse with this girl they took 5 days to decide. The judge seemed to be on my sons side all the way through. but in the end the jury found my son guilty. so then it was taken out of the judges hands. and by law he had to give him the minimum sentence of 5 years for Statutory rape. I felt like my heart had broken into millions of pieces.. All the worry and fear I was feeling.
My son was sent to an adult prison to start with and he seemed to be getting on fine.. he got himself a job in the laundry.. now he has been sent to a youth offending prison.. He does write to me and tells me he is fine.. but because what he is in there for I worry all the time for his safety. I have spoken a few times with the prison helpline and they have been brilliant. they have managed to contact the prison to find out if he is ok. But I never realised that when I do that it stops my son from getting on. As he is trying to get on a bricklaying course. The helpline did say to me that it will get easier but I don't think anybody really knows what it feels like for us on the outside. I feel like i am doing the sentence as well.
My son has a supporting family who love him very much and are standing by him.. He has a 3 week old daughter and a lovely girl friend. And at this point we are going through the channels of getting him to see his daughter. Its so complicated because of what he is in prison for. Its just not right that he has to be branded a rapist and put with all the other violent rapist as he is not like that.. It was a stupid thing my son did but both my son and this girl was willing to do what they did.. and now she is living her life on the outside and my son is in hell with the rest of his family going through a terrible nightmare. His girl friend has nightmares about what is happening to him.. In his letters he tells me he is ok and that he has made a few friends in there.. but then he is on the phone to his girl friend and all she can here is boys shouting abuse.
Please help me to understand what it really is like in there. As I have been told by the prison helpline that they do encourage for the young lads to maybe do courses and education and they do not tolerate violence and they treat every prisoner the same no matter what they are convicted of.

Thank you for listening to me..