Existential Crisis - By Lifer Ben Gunn

How do you react when in a moment of revelation you realise that there is nothing in your life which endows it with any meaning or purpose?

When this crashed down on me the other day, I instantly manoeuvred myself into a minor nicking just to have the solitary respite of, well, being in solitary.

This is a battle within myself, a challenge to my existence. People forget - or don't realise - that serving a life sentence takes effort. It draws upon mental reserves. And for me, realising that I'd run out of energy to continue coincides with a period during which nothing in my life brings to it any meaning.

Rather than chucking myself over the landing, I've stopped eating. Starving oneself to death has its advantages. It concentrates the mind like nothing else; and it takes long enough for circumstances - or brain chemistry - to alter sufficiently to make prison life worth living. Until then, black tea is my only intake.

Wish me luck, or a lingering demise, as your instincts suggest!

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