I love my son, but I can't accept what he has done. I have a visiting order in my kitchen drawer and cannot bring myself to book a visit to see him. I want to see him but I am dreading it so much. He has been sentenced to 14 years in prison. I am frightened of my own feelings if that makes any sense to some of your readers. Those in my street who I speak to are kind and supportive, but no one asks how I am feeling. They ask how my son is coping in prison. It is taking me ages to drift off to sleep of a night and I feel lethargic most days because of the lack of sleep. At one time, I always pulled my face at criminals and their families. Now I know that was wrong. My son had a fabulous upbringing and wanted for nothing. Doesn't it go to show that this trauma can happen to any family. God bless you all and thanks for giving me the opportunity to express my feelings.