Loads of people ask me what it's like to be married to a prison officer. I get the usual jokes and jibes thrown at me and the most popular one is, " is he a good screw"? It could mean two things couldn't it? But he's neither! His job annoys me. I never wanted him to be a prison officer but the power and the uniform compensate for him having a small penis. Being a screw makes him feel impotent - I mean, important.
I've recently been prescribed anti-depressants because my husband takes his job as a prison officer to the extreme. When he finishes work, he wants Bang-up and mash for tea, followed by a screw-ball from the ice-cream van. He only watches crime programmes and he refers to my private parts as a sweat-box. I can't join him in the pub unless he gives me a V.O and if we have a house party, he boots people out at 8.00pm and locks up our home. If anyone else is having the same problems married to a screw, can you let me know please. Thanks in advance. Gloria.