Prisoners Families Picking Up The Pieces - From Anon


Hi. I have just read the post about someones son who has recently been released from prison and not doing too well by all accounts. I am writing in to you to tell his parents that they are not on their own. My son came out of prison with more attitude than when he went to prison and a bad attitude at that. He too became involved with a prison gang and even went on visits to see them after he was released 12 months down the line. He stupidly took in some drugs that the gang asked him to do and back to prison my son went! That's how clever he thought he was but I do blame the system as well. Like the other poster on your blog, the Judge and the probation reports thought my boy was better off inside. He was shoplifting every day and had numerous orders, community service, you name it, and because he did not comply to these orders, prison it was for him. Call me naive but I honestly and stupidly thought that prison might just be what he needed to sort himself out and that once he went there, he wouldn't want to go back, but it wasn't the case. He shared a cell with someone with a drug addiction and became addicted to drugs himself in prison. Yes he smoked Cannabis in the free world, but never Heroin. He never stole a thing from our home or from my purse. He joined a gang in prison who told him that Heroin would make him forget the prison bars. Once he was hooked, that was when the phone calls started asking me for money and asking me to send money to someone in the free world who I didn't know from adam. I bought him new trainers which he traded in for drugs and he sold his console that his Dad bought him. In fact, his prison sentence was worse than having him at home and how bad does that sound? He is back in prison now and I don't visit him because he is still using drugs and asking family for money. I am trying the tough-love thing because I don't know what else to do. I have tried helping him emotionally and financially but it didn't work, in fact it made me ill, so that isn't constructive whatsoever! I am his Mum and I feel guilty having give him up as a lost cause but I have to try everything in my power to get my son back without the Heroin and attitude. Probation do nothing, they are a complete lost cause, so it falls on the families backs every time in my opinion. One thing I would love to ask the prison service is this - how the hell can you 'rehabilitate' offenders when your prisons are swimming in drugs? How can prisoners be rehabilitated when they are sat in their cells smoking Heroin? I doubt I would get an answer but if any one from the prison service does read my post then at least I have asked the question indirectly. You start to think as a parent where you have gone wrong, but as much as I tried pulling my son away from the bad crowd, he fell in to it more and more. I couldn't do right from doing wrong and here I am banging my head against a wall with my son locked up in prison smoking shit (pardon my language) every night getting himself in to even more mess only to be released back to his family who then has to pick up the pieces again. What to do? Because I do not know anymore. Thanks too for highlighting this situation. Please don't publish my name. Thanks all.