Tough love is the best - from Anonymous

can I start by saying...... I want to remain anonymous please. I have just read an email from a lady that her son is in prison. My heart goes out to her as I know what she is going through. My son started with young offenders prison and is now 40+ years old and nothing has changed. He is the most lovable lad and would have done anything for anyone and still would,maybe that is his the start I broke my heart in the visiting room but now I dont really visit him as I now feel anger at him for letting the things happen to him. His trouble started when he started high school. On the very first day he came home from school after one hour.He has never told me what had happened...he was good before he started that school, at primary school his work was great....that doesn't say much for the school, it was a brand new school but the teachers were terrible and didnt seem properly trained... Anyway he had every thing on a plate from me but I think that's were I went wrong, he had to much... more than my other kids they were a lot older than him and in prison just like your lad. We gave him every thing he asked for, I still want to keep giving but im tired of it. My anger kicks in and that's that...His dad goes to see him along with his two girls as often as he can because if he didnt he would feel guilty. I can only strongly advise you not to give into him. You will feel bad for a while but it gets easier. Put your foot down and say NO because I have found out... tough love is the best! I wish you the very best for the furture. From Anonymous.