My ex partner of 11 years is serving time in prison for crimes he committed to pay for his DOC. (drug of choice)
He is a heroin addict and has been in and out of prison and secure units most of his life since the age of 14.
Although we are not together anymore, I still write to him in prison. I have been through so much with him that I cannot completely cut him out of my life for good.
My friends think I'm silly and he is a rotten waste of space but he's a human being and a very poorly one. I spent 2 years with the 'real him' when at one time in his life he was clean. He did well and was an excellent partner and step father to my son. When he relapsed he became 'that other person' again and that other person was the pits of a partner and sometimes disappeared for days, even weeks on end. The love of his life was heroin and me and my son was his last priority. Heroin beat us to it.
In 2007 he served a long stretch in prison and I stood by him. Basically for a word I served a prison sentence alongside him because I put my life on hold to support him.
When he was released from prison, he went straight back to Heroin.
In 2013, he went for a routine blood test and found out he had Hep C. (hepititus C)
Straight away I went for a blood test and found out he had passed it on to me. I hadn't slept with anyone else so the virus was passed on through him.
He admitted to me that he had shared needles and that he had slept with other (women) heroin users. He cried until his eyes were sore and begged me to forgive him.
I never slept with him again although we still lived together of a fashion.
I was a faithful partner to him and supported him wishing me and my son were enough for him to stop the drugs, but we weren't. It took a lot of soul searching to realise that you cannot change someone with an addiciton. That part is entirely up to them and with a drug such as heroin, it's always one step forward and three steps back.
I have always worked very hard for a living and maintained a nice home. Our home was a secure haven for anyone wanting a chance to rebuild their life and no matter how hard I tried, there was no way on this earth I or my son were capable of changing his lifestyle. He is an heroin addict and heroin addicts are well known for reoffending, right? How can hardworking families with a secure household have an impact on reducing reoffending when a person is a drug addict? We are simply verging on the impossible.
Thank you Prison Widow for giving people like me the chance to get our stories out there in the public domain. God bless you.