Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Bipolar in prison

Hi and could you keep my details private please. 
I am diagnosed as having bipolar and have served 3 prison sentences for theft and prostitution. I did these crimes to pay for a heroin and crack cocaine habit. It hurts me to write about this but I feel I need to. 
I found it hard in prison coping with bipolar. If you don't know a lot about bipolar the best way I can describe it is I am 2 people. One half of me can be manic and needs to be on the go all the time and the other half of me can stay in bed for a couple of weeks at a time. To be expected to address your issues in prison with this disorder can be horrendous and there can be little understanding amongst prison officers and fellow prisoners. On a high I am cooperative, enthusiastic, but impulsive. On a low I look like a completely different person and think about suicide at least 3 or 4 times a day but don't act on those impulses. I can't explain it but the feeling of doom isn't a nice feeling. In prison I am unreliable for obvious reasons due to my condition. Being bored and confined has been spoken a lot on your blog and I couldn't agree more. Having time to think when you have a mental health illness and banged up in a cell can end in tragedy and I have been on the brink. 
Feeling isolated in the outside world is lonely enough but feeling isolated in prison is terrifying. Thank you for giving people a voice and the chance to raise awareness. Yours Faithfully, Anonymous.