Have you ever been in a situation where you have found yourself staring at 4 walls with no money and nothing to do? Imagine having to do that for 5 years?
Some of the guys on the wing had longer and there is nothing worse than screwing your own mind up. I contemplated taking my own life dozens of times. If it wasn't for the photograph over my bed of my daughter, I wouldn't be here today that is for sure. I could accept I was in prison, I got my head around that, but I needed to get my head in a good place in order to become a better Dad upon release. The prison service never gave me that opportunity though.
Yes; I was involved in some altercations with prison officers because my state of mind was not stable. If the Prison Service are gonna bang me up all day with nothing to do; I had to vent; and I vented on my keepers. I am being honest with you, it isn't the way to go but what do they expect! We are all human and I challenge anyone here in the free world to say to me that they have never vented at their loved ones because they have either been frustrated about something or in general just feeling in low mood. The prisons are in crisis and are in crisis more than the Government and the Prison Service let on. I have heard the word shambles being used numerous times on your blog and shambles is the correct word I would use for the current state of our prisons.
I have been out now for only a month and I would say it is calm before the storm. Prisoners are not happy!