Hi Prison Widow UK Blog. I am emailing you in response to the post about 'Lee' hiding that his father is in prison.
I lied about my dad being in prison
My father is in prison and is in prison for a long time. I too told my partner that I hadn't seen my father in years.
One night there was a documentary on TV about prison and I felt the time was right for me to tell him. At first he was shocked and asked me a lot of questions. I was very emotional and didn't want to talk about it. My feelings and emotions came flowing out and I once I started crying I couldn't stop.
I so know how Lee feels. Only close friends of mine knew about my father but I figured what would happen one night when we were out partying and the truth came out accidentally? I was always on edge when I started dating boys because I didn't want the truth to be out. It was a horrid feeling and I was living a lie.
I write to my Father but was estranged from him for some years. As I grew older I needed some answers from him because I felt I couldn't move on with my life. My father became a secret and it just dragged me down and had an effect on my mental health being.
My father is my father. What he did and where he is I can't change. I've learned to forgive and let go because it would eat away at me forever and I'm the innocent party. I shouldn't have to live my life pretending. No one should but I get why people do because of the shame and the stigma.
My father has met a woman through writing to her and I have met her. She says I shouldn't judge my father but with the greatest of respect, she didn't or hasn't lived with him and hasn't been subject to the press camping out on her doorstep. We had our windows put through, tyres constantly slashed on my mothers car and even my elderly grandma had her windows put through and she was 79 at the time. She has since passed away.
For Lee, I can only pray that you make the right choice. No one can tell anyone what to do when in this situation. It's a personal thing for every one involved. For me though I can live better and live my life without living a lie. Good luck to you Lee and stay strong. From 'Karen' (name changed to protect identity.)