I'm at peace when my son is in prison - from a Mum

Dear Prison Widow UK. I prefer not to give my name if that's OK.
My son is addicted to crack cocaine and heroin and as a Mum I can only say this. I am at peace only when he is in prison. When he is out on the streets; I can't sleep; my health deteriorates and I feel anxious all the time. I know I shouldn't say it but I honestly feel so much better when he is locked up knowing where he is. He refuses help out here and has attended a number of self-help groups and has been in the drug services but he just goes back to using drugs. Nothing has helped simply because he does not want to help himself. I have tried to support him; his sister has tried also but it never works out. It's like he is addicted to his lifestyle and is happy doing what he does.
I don't know how long I can keep visiting him in prison though because I am not in good health and I again feel very guilty about cutting down my visits but I just can't physically keep going to see him on a regular basis. Any other families who are going through this I feel for deeply because no one understands how addiction affects families too. I could break my heart a thousand times over.

From a worried Mum